John and I started dating in June of 2012. We met through a dating website (POF) and he seemed like the perfect guy. We texted all day and talked on the phone for hours every night. he was so sweet and even though we lived 4 hours apart, he still surprised me in the cutest of ways by sending me flowers or stuff like that. In August i moved to west lafayette because i started attending Purdue University. Between him working full time and having drill one weekend of the month (since he is in the army NG), and me going to school all during the week and working on the weekends, we only saw each other one weekend out of the month. But even then, things were great. We always had the best time together and shared wonderful memories. We would go back and forth writing each other long sweet texts professing our love for each other and it was seriously like a fairy tale. But i noticed it started to stop sometime in january. i would send him the texts, but he wouldn’t send them back. And when i brought this to his attention, he would say it was because he was busy hanging out with a friend and he’d send one later, or he fell sleep and forgot. Well in March of 2013, I found out I was pregnant. He was supposed to be deployed to Egypt that June, but the day after I found out, his deployment was cancelled and I thought it was fate. I finished out the semester and we got an apartment together in May in his hometown (4 hours away from all of my family and friends). I moved down there to be with him and start our family together. I found a great job within 2 weeks and things were going great.
Then I started to notice changes. He went out every weekend to the bars with his buddies, leaving me at home alone with nothing to do and no one to hangout with or talk to. I couldn’t even go if i wanted to because A) i was only 20. and B) he didn’t want me out in crowded public places because “there’s a lot of stupid drunk idiots out there and somebody could bump into me and god forbid it caused any harm to the baby”. Well i started getting suspicious because he would stay out at the bars until 4am, yet they closed at 3. (and he also got a DUI in July after blowing a .15 and had his license suspended for a month and was put on probation for the next year, yet still went out and drank at the bars anyways because his best friend was a cop) He would hide his phone and take it with him when he went to shower or poop. He kept a lock on his phone which I always had the code for, but then he started changing it and any time I would ask for it, he’d get defensive or make up and excuse. And if i figured it out, he’d change it again the next day.
One night I had figured out the passcode to his phone and I unlocked it. I saw he had a snapchat from some girl, so I viewed it, and it was a picture of her VAGINA. Not full blown, but it was a straight shot of her pants unzipped with panties on. Needless to say my mouth dropped and I woke him up right then pissed off asking questions (bad idea. always stay cool and get your ducks in a row first). well he of course played it off and said that she was just a an ex girlfriend of one of his friends and he had no idea why she would send him something like that and that he’d block her. well i knew better, but of course gave him the benefit of the doubt. He then got a second part time job to help save extra money before our daughter was born and i had gone to visit him at work one night and all the girls were very friendly with me and knew we were together and expecting a child except ONE girl. she just glared at me and never said a word. Well i noticed they were friends on facebook and she too was taken with a child. well i added her and she never accepted. Then i saw text messages on his phone between the two of them like they were trying to get to know each other (like you do when you first start talking to someone–asking for pictures, etc). and i asked him about it. he told me it was his buddy at work texting her from his phone bc his was broken. I knew that was probably bullshit but when we hung out with this friend one evening, i asked him about it when john had gone to the restroom and he confirmed it, so i let it go. (turns out he was just covering for him) oh and the best part was that after i eventually found all this out, i also found out that this particular girl lived in the same neighborhood as us, just a street over!!
Well he quit that job soon after because he said he didnt like it there and got another part time job working at family video. (he had worked there before and left on good terms so they hired him right away). well he worked there up until a few days before our daughter was born and then just stopped showing up and eventually got fired bc he didnt want to have to work for thanksgiving.
Well November 2013 comes and i have my daughter, the most beautiful little girl in the world. He was right there with me every step of the way, through the 16 and a half hours of labor. I had her and he stayed there with me the entire 3 days we were in the hospital. He seemed so full of love and protection (like a father should have) that i thought maybe he’d realize that a family is more important than anyone or anything. He had taken the next week off of work so he could stay home and be there with us and i was on paid maternity leave for 6 weeks from my job. He came straight home from work every day and would stay home every weekend (except the weekends he had drill).
Well one day his buddy’s girlfriend (who had become my best friend) told me that her boyfriend (johns BEST FRIEND) had told her one night that John had cheated on me with a girl named Olivia in the Family Video store where he used to work. That he was closing one night and she came and saw him and they had sex in one of the aisles (aisle 4 or something because it had no cameras) and that this happened like a week before my daughter was born. Well i was furious because this was the SAME GIRL that had befriended me months prior, and we had actually hung out a couple times and she came over to our apartment one day after our daughter was born. I thought it was strange how he just sat there on his xbox playing his game and barely ackowledged her, and how she was perfectly fine with whipping out her boob and breastfeeding her 3 month old daughter (Yes, she had a daughter, was a year younger than me, and her babys dad wants nothing to do with her or her kid). Well of course i freak out on him and ask him about it and he says shes making it all up. that his friend would never say anything like that and that it never happened.
Well, Christmas time comes around and his buddy (the one who’s a cop) posts a status on facebook saying hes drinking with a buddy of his and invites john over. John comments on it and says no he cant (because we were sitting there watching a movie) and his buddy comments back and says that his “hitler-ette” needed to calm down and stop controlling him. So i blew up on his buddy and he said that the only reason john was with me was because i got pregnant and that if i was smarter and had used birth control then i wouldnt even be here right now. So john went off on his buddy and actually stood up for me and i told him i want nothing to do with him at all and he is not allowed over at our house or to see our daughter. He complied and his buddys name wasnt brought up ever again and they never hung out (even though they had “made up” with eachother and still texted occasionally).
Well in february, this same friend of his was caught red handed cheating on his girlfriend (my now best friend) with some girl for the last 2 months. Well stuff happened between them that i wont say, but now instead of being a police officer, hes sitting in prison for the next 8 years and can have no contact with either of his daughters or his ex girlfriend (my friend). Well the night this all happened, i wake up to a text message saying “we were right. they were cheating with (so and so)”. So i wake john up and tell him what she said and he said that she was making s*** up to try to break us up since her relationship was going to s***. And since i had no proof, i let it go.
Well I had posted a status about cheaters and a week later i get an anonymous letter in the mail at my WORK, addressed to me, stating (in poorly disguised sloppy handwriting) that they saw my status and know for a fact that john had cheated on me with atleast 3 different girls, and gave names. and that they thought i should know (and one of the girls names was Olivia, from earlier in my story). Well this time i didnt automatically show him my evidence and accuse him. i played it cool and wanted to gather everything. So i figured out the password to his verizon account and looked at his phone records and saw a number continuously popping up on there. well i looked it up on facebook and low and behold, its another girl i know. i printed off everything!
That night, iIwake up around 1 because my daughter started crying and i started to feed her so she could go back to sleep. His phone goes off at 1:30 in the morning. I heard it vibrate, but it didnt light up. (he has an iphone) so i click the home button, and it doesn’t show anything on the screen. (keep in mind his phone is also locked, so i can’t check it fully because i don’t know the password). well then it goes off again, but it was a different vibration than before and the phone actually lit up this time. i look and its some comment notification for facebook. so right then and there is when i knew that he had blocked the notifications for texts so that i couldn’t see (since it shows the first part of the message on the lock screen) so i waited until he finally woke up at 5:30 that morning and went to check his phone, like he does every morning. and i told him to wait, and that i wanted to sit behind him as he checked it. he immediately asked why and i said because somebody texted you at 1:30 in the morning and the notification did not show on the screen so i wanna know who it is. he instantly got defensive and said no! that he wasn’t going to keep doing this s*** and that i need to trust him. and i said all i want to know is who texted you, and he said “its none of your f****** business who i talk to, and if you dont like it then you can f****** leave”.
That was on a Wednesday, in may. That Saturday night, he went out to the bars and got extremely drunk, and for the first time in the past year and a half, I went over to a bonfire with my friend and 2 of her girl friends. it was just the four of us plus her friends husband and his buddy. I asked John’s mom and sister to babysit for a couple hours so that I could hangout and have a nice time, and they were more than happy to. well after I had been there for about an or two, johns sister calls me and tells me that john found out they were babysitting and got extremely pissed off that I wasn’t home with our daughter. so I told her i’d be home soon and she said he was already on his way home. well then i get a call from john who asks me what I’m doing, I tell him I’m at a bonfire and he flips out on me and says how could O pawn our kid off to somebody else (when it was his mom and sister) and that I was a horrible mother. (yet he was the one who was piss ass drunk). Then he tells me that I shouldnt even bother coming home because hes gonna lock me out. So I drive immediately home and hes sitting on the couch with his buddy, and his mom and sister are sitting on the other end of the couch with my daughter. I walk in, because the door was unlocked and he gets up and goes to the bathroom (where he started puking his guts out bc thats how drunk he was–the same man that blew a .15 and thought he was perfectly fine to drive and “hadn’t drank that much”). well his sister and i go outside and she explains to me what happened when he got home. he flew into a rage and started screaming stuff and saying how i was nuts if i thought i was going to be able to come in this house and blah blah blah. well his sister told him to the stfu and said “shes a mother. You know what shes going to do when she gets home and she can’t get inside the house, where her daughter is? shes going to call the cops. you’re drunk and on probation. You’ll go to jail! quit being an idiot and calm down!”. and thats the only reason the door was unlocked when I got home. well we didnt say a word to each other the rest of the night and him and his buddy passed out, and I slept on the couch.
The next morning was mothers day and I spent it with my daughter and my friend and her daughter and we had a great day with just us. Later that day, one of his own friends had called me and asked what had happened between us bc he saw we weren’t together on facebook and I told him why and he said that was in fact cheating on me with this one girl, the one he claimed was texting his buddy through his phone. and how he bragged about it to him saying “oh this girl is texting me and sending me these pics and what not” all happy about it. So that following Saturday, while he was at drill, my parents and my cousin came down with their 12 passenger van and pickup and they moved all of mine and my daughters stuff back to fort wayne to my parents house. He freaked out on me initially and posted a bunch of bullshit on facebook to get sympathy from people who had no idea what really happened, and I filed that Monday for child support and we had our court date in july because he didn’t want to agree on more than $200 a month for support when I’m paying $500 a month in day care alone. Sso now he’s paying $200 a week court ordered, sees his daughter every other Tuesday thru Friday, and I am doing perfectly fine without him. 🙂 I would post the girls that he cheated on me with, but to be honest, I don’t even know all of their names because there were too many to count. They all knew we were together, hell the whole town did because its a tiny town, yet still fIIked around with him. but, as soon as I started to get suspicious about one, he’d drop them and move on to the next. So he’s the real HOMEWRECKER in this story and he deserves to be here and those girls will get what’s coming to them as will he 🙂 The only thing I am thankful for throughout this whole mess was my beautiful daughter, and the fact that besides his lying cheating ways, he is actually a good father to her.
