My husband is a survivor of extreme childhood emotional, sexual, and physical abuse and he has a formal diagnosis of PTSD from his deployment and our military job (were both Veterans). He has endured more abuse than most people I have ever heard of and because of this his brain has adapted itself to survive. This makes him very prone to “freezing up” in situations of extreme stress and has actually caused his brain to block out events that he deems too traumatic. We’re currently working with a flock of therapists, psychologists, and others to help him cope better. Over the past two years, as a couple, we’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs that would probably drive most people and couples insane. We lost a son, I lost best friend, and my grandfather is very close to the end. I was in the hospital five times, two of which were emergency room visits for severe stomach pains and one was for emergency surgery. Various members of my extended family including my brother and cousins had mental break downs complete with mental institution commitments and jail stints and my husband had a complete mental breakdown which led to an affair. Not to mention, we bought another house, had to switch tenants in our rental house, moved 5 times, and dealt with our share of financial difficulties. I also had a mother-in-law who was out to get me and I didn’t even realize it. I just knew I didn’t like her from the first day I met her in July 2010 so thank God for that one. We have been married for over four years and have a 4 year old son and a 4.5 year old dog. So lets get to the drama: My husband and I are a “love at first sight” couple and my monster-in-law has never liked me because Gavin choose me over her (for real). She also has no idea or concept of what love is. I’ve never liked at all her but I played nice because…well… she was family. She is one of my husbands abusers (which I didn’t know when we got married) and knows certain triggers to set him off and cause him to freeze up, mentally confuse him, or spin him out of control. For a year, prior to the affair, she would call him on the phone just to yell at him about being married to me. This escalated and behind the scenes, while my husband was in his disoriented mental state, she repeatedly told him that I was cheating on him (I never have..) and that he had to leave me because of how awful I am and because his dad would kill himself if he didn’t. The monster-in-law repeatedly told me that I should leave Gavin and that maybe he needs someone who will “tell him what to do”. A few months before the affair occurred, I told my monster-in-law in confidence that the only way I would divorce my husband is if he cheated on me because I saw it as a sign of disrespect. I said this during a conversation where she was bashing my husband and I needed to stand up to her but it backfired. Once the monster-in-law had the ammo, she decided to use it to orchestrate an affair to try to get us to divorce. My husband and I were doing the “long distance thing” for a few months while I transitioned jobs and it was during this time my mother-in-law flew to the state of Virginia and majorly overstepped her boundaries with my husband. She abused him (because I wasn’t there) and our son told us that she repeatedly and on purpose punched my son’s head. My husband saw lump and freaked out. By chance, the “girl” (I can’t call her a woman… it would be an insult to all women) who was, in my husband’s mind, seriously just a work supervisor of my husbands, ran into my monster-in-law while dropping off something off at the apartment. The girl saw my husband in an extreme catatonic state and this became a conversation piece for the two. The monster-in-law actually told this “girl” and how she could confuse my husband in order to force him to divorce me. The monster-in-law told her to consider my husband her little play thing for now. The “girls” initial plans to instigate a divorce failed miserably once I arrived in the area. My husband and I have always had great chemistry and once we were together he forgot all about them. It wasn’t until I started working night shift that the real drama occurred because the girl had access to my work schedule due to her position of authority in my company. That’s when the threats became forceful and she would constantly threaten my job security and my husbands job security because he was a sub-contractor. We lived in an area that depended on both of our incomes so this became a real issue and stresser for my husband. The threats became more forceful and harsher as time went on but this wasn’t the real cause of the affair, it was a large one though. My monster-in-law decided that the affair was taking to long and last minute flew out to see my husband during a time where she knew I would be at work. The monster-in-law, again, abused my husband and son, and this time sent my husband into a full blown mental breakdown. My husband also suspects that both his mother and the mistress may have drugged him because this is something his mother did to him his whole life so she is clearly not above it and because he doesn’t remember large parts of the encounters with his mother and the mistress. I 100% do believe him about this. It was during this time period that he cheated on me. The girl knew that what she and my monster-in-law were doing was highly illegal and actually made it very clear. She threatened my husband and told him that if he got a “guilty conscience” and told me what happened she would have him fired and tell his mother. He was and is extremely afraid of his mother since she is his main abuser and the girl knew this. She used her position of authority to become one of his “abusers” and this is why everything occurred. The girl even physically assaulted my husband after he wouldn’t sleep with her; to force him to sleep with her. Something that he is ashamed of. The girls threats escalated when my husband refused to leave me and the calls and texts got so bad that we ended up changing my husbands phone number at his request and he actually refused to take calls from work because she would call him from one of the work phones to try to trick him into answering. During the time of my husband’s mental breakdown I confronted the mistress on multiple occasions. I texted her from his phone multiple times and I told her that my husband needed to get his head on straight for the sake of his son and to leave my husband and family alone but she didn’t care about his family (obviously). I also went so far as to message her on facebook and call her the night the first affair encounter happened. She never responded to me, only yelled at my husband for it. She is and was scared of me. This is how crazy this story gets and I really wish I could make all of this up: My husband changed his cell phone number in September 2013 and soon after had to stop taking work calls because the mistress would not leave him alone. In October 2013 his father killed himself; just like his mom said he would if my husband didn’t leave me. The first person to freak out about my husband’s father’s death (outside of the family) was the mistress. She asked if she was going to get in trouble and to not tell me, his wife. Go figure. Mental illness is a real problem that plagues even the most professional of people; my husband was full blown PTSD, schizo-effective, and even slightly sociopathic during the time everything occurred and he was working full time at the National Geospatial Agency in Springfield, VA. As his wife, I was there before the affair and after so I saw what was happening from a bystanders standpoint. I obviously knew he was cheating on me but I saw a different side of him which no one else saw which makes me a very good character witness to his unusual behaviors during this time. I saw my husband break down mentally in our home at random times, I saw him freak out every morning before work because he was so petrified to go into the office, and I witnessed the suicidal tendencies that he was starting to exhibit. Unfortunately, due to the laws that regulate the mental health system, I couldn’t forcibly admit him to therapy or make him seek help. I was able to drag him to two therapists during this time but it did little to quell what was occurring because no one could get over his “affair”. There is actually even more to this story that I had to edit out but it gets complicated. My husband did file charges with the police department against the mistress and his mother. His mother currently thinks that I know nothing of the affair and that I’m living in a “fairy tale” world (her words not mine). She doesn’t even recognize what a mistake she made by clearly overstepping her boundaries again…We know she doesn’t know that I know anything because she sent us each a nasty hateful letter trying to cause us to “divorce”… again… by saying she met the girl “who my husband was spending all his time with”. NO slut. So… if you live in the DC metro/Virginia area you should beware of the mistress: Courtney Erland. She works with National Intelligence and has no issues abusing children, using her “authority” to cause harm to everyone around her, breaking up marriages, taking advantage of mentally unstable men, and conspiring with others for… well… probably money. I really don’t know what her real motive was. I hated her the first day I met her. I never felt threatened but I could tell she wanted to be Max’s “mommy” from the very beginning and I just knew that she was not a good person at all; she is ugly inside and out. According to linkedin, She currently works for Vencore INC in the Washington DC Metro Area and is an adjunct professor at George Mason University. She worked for BAE Systems at the National Geospatial Agency in Springfield, VA when the rape and abuse occurred but she left the company the same month I did, September 2014. I know this story is super crazy so please feel free to repost or share this if you want. If you must, you can call this BS but it really isn’t. Truth be told, my husband and I have nothing to hide anymore and we are working with everyone (law enforcement, friends and family, mental health workers, advocates, etc) to make this right so hopefully this will never happen to another child or family. My 4 year old son is going to need therapy for the rest of his life because of the actions of Courtney and my monster-in-law . He was an innocent bystander in this sick manipulative game that was played on my husband and he remembers everything that happened and everything he saw.