Why Spouse Cheat? – Reasons, Signs & Methods To Cope Up

The case of spouse cheating is not linked to any specific gender. Furthermore, there are no hard-hitting rules too based on which you can guarantee that your spouse is a cheater. Statistics reveal, both the genders are found engrossed in such heinous acts.

Statistics reveal shocking data:

The cases of infidelity have shown a drastic increase over past 50 years. The figures are not very accurate because people do not want to reveal their clandestine secrets. The statistics are adulterated as the subject is highly sensitive.

Some striking Infidelity and cheating statistics-

• Internet pornography websites generate worldwide revenue of $57.0 billion.
• The United States solely generates revenue of $12 billion via cases of infidelity.
• Approximately 40 million individuals are involved in this profession via the internet. The survey was collected by “National Coalition for the protection of Children and Families“.
• The survey and the reports state that the cheating spouse cases range from 10-13% during adulthood stages.
• The next 20% cases of infidelity take place when the couple turn to 40s.

The Infidelity or cheating spouse statistics –

• Approximately 22% of the married men have done infidelity with their partners at least once in their lifetime.
• Furthermore, 14% of the wedded women were strayed once in their married life tenure.
• Younger people become its culprit more often. In this race, younger women are equally unfaithful to young men.
• 70% of wedded ladies and 54% of the wedded men are unaware of their partner’s extramarital activities.
• 90% of Americans consider adultery as erroneous.
• In the United States, 61% Americans do not consider it as a crime while 35% think it to be incorrect. 4% are neutral.
• 17% of divorce cases in the United States are solely due to infidelity.

Why do couples cheat their partner?

The topic of infidelity or spouse cheating was studied extensively over past few years. There are two major grounds for it-

Issues with their relationship:

The couples find difficult to cope with the everyday burgeoning of issues. The issue could be of any type-

• Something is missing
• Faded passion
• Partner feeling isolated
• The partner feels that someone else is treating him/her in a better way and appreciates him/her more often than their existing spouse.

Simple explanation: The partner simply says that he/she is not contented and happy with the relationship. Hence they were looking for that affectionate bond which they finally got here.

Some common facts related to cheating spouse-

• A gender difference has a big role towards infidelity. Men are more likely to betray than women.
• If a person has a history more than 2 divorces, he is likely to be unfaithful. Under such cases, a person’s past history plays a vital role in defining his character.
• Some people are more involved in cheating spouse cases because they find the other person more attractive than his /her partner.
• Sometimes, when the person stays away from his partner, he finds a more potential partner and does not miss the opportunity.
• Some person takes risks willingly for no reason.

Facts about cheating husbands:

• Men are more involved in cheating than women. Approximately 50% of the men cheat their wives at some point of time in their married life.
• Boyfriends or Husbands are more addicted to online cheating. Maximum chat rooms, webcams and online services are flourishing on the demand of men. They are more attracted towards sexual encounters.
• A rich husband is likely to spend more money in such unfair means and is found the culprit of the cheating spouse. When they spend more money, their desires expand and the wealth attracts women primarily.
• Many men feel the monotony when doing the routine sex with the same lady. Men are more attracted to the ladies who are filled with excitement and amusement and are enjoyable partners.
• A husband cheating his wife is more likely to engage with a lady who is younger than his wife.
• Most of the husbands feel that if the fun and excitement is missing in the routine life within the couple, there is no harm being engrossed with someone else. Sometimes lack of romance and sex between the couple also leads to spouse cheating issues.
• Men are bigger serial cheaters than wives.

Facts about wives:

• Women are more reliable partners than husbands. The survey is consistently showing women to be more faithful and loyal towards their partners.
• When women cheat, she is more connected emotionally. They are less interested in taking one night stand.
• When a woman has an affair, she roams around with someone who is of her social group. It could be a friend, someone from school, church, community, a co-worker etc.
• Women usually cheat with a person who has a high-status symbol, is a business tycoon, and has better status and a number of money resources in comparison to her partner.
• Some women cheat because they want more attention from their partner. They want someone who is more caring and understanding.
• When a wife is cheating, she is ready to leave her husband and join the nuptial bond with the person she is running an affair. Since women are more emotional creatures, they do not want to bear the stain of infidelity and join someone else understanding the significance of love, affair, intimacy and the bonding.
• When women are caught in the web of cheating, they think themselves as more attractive physically, cultured and well mannered. They draw optimistic inferences about themselves in contrast to men. They feel- “I am still beautiful”, “I am still likeable and desirable”.
• In case women go for one night stand, she finds a partner who is more attractive, physically handsome and healthy than her existing partner.
• Some women cheat their husbands because they want to take revenge. In cases of infidelity, the revenge cheating case is more popular among women.

The effect of spouse cheating:

• People whose life partners cheat feel shattered.
• They find it to be a signal that will end their marriage.
• People entangled in an affair but not yet divorced feel the heavenly world on earth.
• Out of every 4 cheating spouse cases, maximum were ongoing relationships instead of one night stands. The average duration of such ongoing relation was 1-5 years and most of them were in touch with each other through cell phones, meetings in hotels, restaurants, coffee shops, partner’s home, their workplace, cars etc.
• Under extra marital cases, 2/3rd cases ended on friendly terms while ½ of them stayed in touch with each other as friends.

Reasons of engrossing in such relationships:

• Their marriage does not offer the pleasure and satisfaction they wanted in terms of sexual desires. The partner is not able to provide sexual satisfaction in most of the cases and if the comparison is done in terms of gender, women are difficult to satisfy. All the husbands and wives who have embarked in such scandal activities hope that this way they would improve on their family relations getting more, pleasure, contentment and sex satisfaction. For them, change in the partner for sometime gives a great relief from stress.
• Emotional dissatisfaction in existing relationship was another prime reason for cheating. Emotional insecurity or emotional dissatisfaction is one of the most compelling reason that cheating spouse complaint about. In most of the cases, partners feel that they lack emotional connection with their primary partners.
• The third prime reason of cheating spouseis the monotony in the existing partner. Some people come out with very insignificant reasons and they themselves have no idea as in want they want from their partner. They feel that they have an outstanding partner who offers all the emotional support and physical satisfaction but still they can’t connect.
• Wish for additional sexual encounters: Though most of the people wish to have additional physical relations with other person but are scared to admit in front of their wives. Firstly they are afraid to lose the comfort of their home and secondly they are scared about the society. In some cases, one of the couples has more desire for sex than the other partner. According to him /her if the person denies being physical the required number of times he fails to get the reward in his professional life.

Falling in love with someone new:

• These are some peculiar cases where the person falls in love with a person impressed by his physical appearance and small naughty habits. Sometimes merely company of that person gives him satisfaction and in other cases, he is attracted by the way the lovers present themselves. Sometimes they also like their dominating attitude. In such cases, you can call love is blind. The person forgets that he is already engaged with someone else and is raising infidelity issues with his partners.
• The desire to hurt the partner hard: There are cases when the married life is undergoing lots of financial constrains and emotional issues. Kids are small and lots of pressure is there on both the couple and one of the couple strays away from the path betraying other. The significant lack of intimacy makes the relation suffer a lot in all round terms. Under such cases, the other partner seeks revenge hurting other’s ego and emotions .
• Measure sexual prowess: Some people are always ready to experiment with their lives. They want something new on daily basis. The allurement to feel something new with someone new and special makes them opt for this path.
• In short to say,cheating spouse presents a multifarious blend of different types of desires (lust, money, beauty, emotions, increase in status to join someone etc), but such relations usually ends with anguish.

What to do when your partner is cheating on you?

When you find yourself in such a situation, do not react blindly.

Never do the following-

• Do not panic,
• Do not come in rage,
• Do not hurt him/her physically
• Don’t use any abusive words
• Do not develop a desire to revenge.

Instead

• Do the things that you’re cheating spouse regret later.
• Try to create a situation that makes him difficult to take any step against you; spoiling your married life.

Try to work out few things that could prevent the sabotage. Before you leave your husband or plan to stay with him, try to make out things that work-

Do not leave him immediately:

Eventually, this would be your first course of action but it is highly suggested that you never put him out. Keep a close watch on him. Keep your finger on his pulse of an affair and collect facts. Make decision intelligently. Monitor his activities, attitude and the frequency of visit to the lover. Remember, as long as he is living with you, you have a hope that things will work out but as soon as he leaves your home, the ball will be in another’s court.

• Do not disclose the secret to outsiders:

Reveal the facts and figures about your husband whom you can trust wholeheartedly. Telling every person about your husband’s deed will make him find an excuse. May be the women you are telling is the culprit herself. It’s also possible that if you share your issues with another man he makes the situation worse and takes undue advantage of your vulnerable state. On the other hand, if you tell your family members, the situation can turn miserable. It is highly suggested that the couple reconciles the matter themselves. Exercise caution and try avoiding harboring the rage and hostility towards each other.

• Do not ignore his affair:

Ignorance will make the situation worse; however if you pretend that it’s not happening; gives your silent approval to the affair. At this time, warn him. Remember, sooner the better and longer time develops a strong bond with the lover.

• Confront him with proof, plan and purpose:

Find a suitable place and time so that you can discuss the matter at length. Ask him how it started, why did this happen. Never confront him without the proof of infidelity.

• Remember, wasting time and energy on other women complicate things

Humiliating and harassing other women and ordering her to leave your husband will not stabilize the situation. You will be wasting your energy this way. Instead, it will drive your husband to go further close to her.

So, handle the things intelligently when you find that you have a cheating spouse.