Jeff Lavey told me about Dating Complaints and blamed me for what others wrote about him. While others have chosen to post about Jeff Lavey for their own reasons, I am posting because Jeff Lavey specifically told me to. Of course, he was trying to manipulate me into posting untruths, but I am incapable of doing that.

Emotional intimacy and communication were never Jeff Lavey long suits but I came to discover that the mask of decency he had carefully crafted was eroding. The Jeff Lavey that was underneath can only be described as a sociopath and sex addict. It is terribly painful to watch someone you love and thought you knew disintegrate into sex addiction. I loved Jeff Lavey, stood by him, tried to help him, to no avail. Jeff Lavey put me through two years of outrageous lies and endless discoveries of his betrayal.

I learned that Jeff Lavey had been frequenting strip clubs his entire adult life (not for the 6 months he admitted in his “confession” letter to family and friends, written to shut me up). Jeff had been “befriending” strippers; he dated them, wined and dined them, gave them gifts, rented hotel rooms with them, phoned, emailed and texted them frequently. I learned that he used internet porn (website Tube8 was a nightly occurrence on his laptop history), owned 15 porn DVD’s, had condoms and used Tadalista for his chronic erectile dysfunction (a common symptom of sex addiction) though he told me he was impotent. He re-devoted himself to me post-discovery and then broke every one of the boundaries for a healthy relationship, repeatedly lying and going to strip clubs again. He is incapable of feeling remorse or guilt. He values nothing but his own immediate gratification. I was surprised that this came as no surprise to his ex-wife and eldest son.

Jeff Lavey presents himself as such a nice, responsible guy but he has all the traits of a sociopath and sex addict; he took sex addict and sociopath questionnaires and scored very high on both. Jeff Lavey is a master manipulator and a quick and easy liar. Jeff Lavey did such a good job fooling everyone and continues to do so. It was devastating to discover how sick he is. I spoke with many of his strippers (River, Lovely, Jade, Summer, Wild Cherry, Nina, Pastry Cakez, etc) and they had a lot to say about him – so different than the Jeff Lavey he shows to respectable people in his life. Jeff Lavey called Summer his “chocolate pie” and he was her “vanilla pudding.” Jeff Lavey tried to lessen the degree of his betrayal by telling me his strip club buddy was “way worse than I ever was,” and went on to throw his best friend under the bus! (Their trips to the beach are filled with stripper stories, Annie’s in Astoria being their frequent strip club hangout).

I now know that Jeff Lavey has cheated on me throughout our 15 year relationship. Jeff Lavey will tell you that I am vengeful and nothing more than a woman scorned. I am not at all vengeful but he surely scorned me. The only thing greater than my love for the man he had pretended to be for 15 years was Jeff Lavey accelerating sex addicted behavior with strippers and on dating sites. He made dates with 5 women in 6 days on Match.com. Jeff Lavey dated one twice; his emails to her were very flirtatious and admiring yet he told me she was ugly and “some kind of a gimp” (she had a limp). Jeff Lavey truth is entirely dependent on to whom he is speaking.

These days you will probably see him cruising alone in a bar or at music events in Portland. These days he targets below average looking women. Jeff Lavey is a master at seeming unassuming and decent but he is neither; he is a predator. He is quick with the charm, flattery and very generous, but those are just a means to his end. Jeff Lavey will spend money on you then throw it in your face. My counselor is convinced he is a sociopath and does not respect women, or anyone else. I have seen this in Jeff Lavey. Jeff Lavey has only gotten worse with age. Nothing grows in his heart and his soul is empty.

My advice to any woman that Jeff Lavey pursues is to RUN! He is not what he seems. You will never know what he is up to behind your back. He has no intention of ever getting the help he sorely needs. He will never be faithful or honest. Jeff needs to have many women on the string to keep from being bored as he is emotionally deficient and narcissistic. I have proof of everything I have said; Jeff Lavey gave me his phone records, personal general ledger and emails.  Jeff Lavey knows the truth yet he refutes it to others and disparages me. Don’t say you weren’t warned. If the first few women Bill Cosby had harmed had come forward at the time many other women would have been spared. My conscience is now clear.